A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

Have you ever stopped to wonder why some people enter our lives? Some will stay for a reason, a season or a lifetime. At a very young age my mother would explain to me and my siblings how to know when someone is a true, lifelong friend or just someone passing through window shopping to see what they can get. Of course, we didn't understand what she was saying to us. Many people enter our lives like seasons, some stay, some leave. Everyone has probably experienced friendships that have faded, people who vanished, and relationships that once felt permanent ended. Not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay forever. Some come to teach us a lesson in life. Some will come to test us, almost like a review for a pop quiz. Some may come to walk beside you for a short period of time and that doesn't make their presence any less meaningful. They all have a lesson to share with us if we are willing and open to new experiences.

People enter our lives for a reason. They are not always meant to stay, but they are always meant to leave something behind. For a long time, I struggled with goodbyes. I questioned why certain people drifted away, why relationships changed, and why some connections faded with explanation. As a young person I saw these moments as failures, as if I had done something wrong. Over time I learned something important, not everyone is meant to stay forever.

Some people enter our lives to:

• Teach us a valuable lesson in life.

• To challenge us.

• To walk beside us for a special chapter in our lives.

• To help us to understand who we are and who we are becoming.

Others may arrive to help you and then quietly exit when their role is complete. Remember, that doesn't make the connection meaningless. Even today, I still think of the amazing people that had an influence on who I am today and the thought makes me smile.

Ever wondered why letting go can be so difficult? We hold on because:

• We fear change.

• We romanticise the past.

• We don't want to admit when we have outgrown each other. Growth often requires distance. Some people can only meet you where you were, not where you are going.

Some of my true friends have been around in what feels like a lifetime. Be aware, the circle of true friends starts to thin out as people move though their own life, struggles, successes and relationships. You will always know the ones who are your "champs". The people who stay are important, but so are the people who leave too, because they left you with a valuable lesson in life that will help you to become more skilled and how to use your intuition to identify bullshit from people who are not friends. My champs and I have always had a genuine pact:

• To always be available by phone or zoom regardless of the time of day.

• If needed, we will book a flight to be with each other.

• When any one of us is in trouble or needs help, we always seem to know. In my marketing experience over the years, I learned that we have two ears for a reason; one to listen to what is being said and the second ear to hear what is not being said.

Over the years issues aren't discussed, but those friends know when someone in our circle is going through difficult times. They will seldom ask for help, but true friends can decipher your feelings or issues by reading your emails, chatting online with you, and hearing your voice, or via texting to each other.

There are a few questions that I often ask myself because it reminds me of so many wonderful people that strolled through my life. They aren't easy questions so you may want to give each one some thought. Here goes: Do you remember?

1. Who taught you the hardest lesson in life?

2. Who helped you grow the most?

3. Who did you have to let go of to become who you are today?

The people who remain in our lives are very important. Those who leave are too. Each one leaves behind a lesson, a memory, or a piece of wisdom that shapes who we are today.

Not everyone is meant to walk with you forever. Others come long enough to teach us something we couldn't learn any other way. The hardest lesson is understanding that both serve a purpose. But everyone who enters your life has a purpose, even if that purpose is simply to teach you how to let go and recognise those truthful and honest friends that you can always rely on in times of need.