How difficult is it to show kindness to someone you don't know without expecting anything in exchange? Most people would prefer to focus on themselves and wear their blinders when they leave the safety of their home. At a very young age, I, along with my big sister and brother, were taught to be kind to others in our community. Like any other child, I kicked and screamed that I didn't want to talk to strange people, but at the end of the audition to be a naughty boy, I had to do as my mother told me to do. After a few years, I started to enjoy being kind and seeing the smiling faces looking back at me, the little rascal.
Years ago when vacationing in San Juan, Puerto Rico with my partner and two of my closest friends, I got to experience and share so much kindness from the Puerto Rican people that kept me smiling the entire trip. The photo above, taken by Jon Rendell shows the kindness of a stranger protecting me from the pouring rain as everyone ran to be protected under the roof of a band stand. Once the rain stopped, I thanked the nice man for giving me shelter and he was delighted and gave me the biggest smile.
Just this week while walking from the Flinders Street train station with a friend one evening to get to our French class, I experienced the most genuine act of kindness. As we were walking, chatting and laughing as we always do, we stumbled on a homeless man that is always in the same place next to the stairs leading up to Flinders Lane. He was a young man, probably in his mid to late 30s, sitting with some coins on a cloth in front of him. My friend approached him and said, "I don't have any coins this evening." He knelt down next to the man and continued with the most compassion as he said, "But I have a coat for you that will keep you warm if you would accept it. I brought it with me today, just for you." It was amazing to watch because my loving friend didn't expect anything at all. Watching everything as I always do everyday in life, the man's face beamed as he said thank you a couple of times with the biggest smile and the most light in his eyes I have seen over the past few weeks when we pass and say hello to him. Later we discussed the incident and as I was sharing the the kindness exhibited and the loving face of the stranger, I could no longer hold back the tears. The respect that my friend demonstrated towards a stranger was simply amazing. I often wonder how things would change if we were kind to someone we didn't know. As we kept walking we noticed a group of people feeding the homeless. We noticed the lack of respect of handing the food down to the hungry people instead of being on the same level. I am certain that the thought never crossed their minds that the interaction could have been more genuine and loving as opposed to looking down at them.
I often think about changing my name to Kindness. It has a nice ring to it doesn't it? I actually find it difficult not to be kind to another human being, especially when I see that the smallest gesture could change their life or make them smile and be nice to the next person they may not know. When walking around the neighbourhood or visiting the local shops, it's such fun to chat with strangers. Seeing their faces light up brings me more joy than anyone could imagine. It also gives me added energy to continue on my path of happiness and well-being. When I see mean or miserable people, it also makes me happy that I don't have to engage with them.
It's really quite easy to be kind to each other. Here is a list of things that we can all do to show kindness and I am sure that many of you do these things without even thinking about it.
Giving someone a compliment that you may or may not know. If you see someone wearing a beautiful shirt or blouse, a nice pair of shoes or a great haircut share that thought instead of keeping it to yourself.
Lately, I see lots of woman with young babies. Babies are so adorable and so playful. Tell the mother or father how gorgeous their child is, or what a gorgeous outfit they may be wearing.
Something so simple as saying hello and asking, how are you today and waiting for a response can make all the difference in the world. One day I was in Baker's Delight rushing to buy coffee scrolls. When I got to the counter I placed my order and the staff person said, "Hello, how are you today?" I said good can I have...and he stopped me. He continued and said, "But, how are you today?" He brought me down to earth and reminded me that I wasn't being very kind. Within seconds I smiled and shared how I was feeling and the interaction with him was authentic. Believe it or not, it changed my entire mood and when I see him in the streets walking, we always have a lovely chat.
After a wedding, consider donating the flowers to a facility that takes care of the elderly. The expressions on their faces seeing all the beautiful flowers may be remarkable. Also sharing some of those beautiful flowers with a hospital where the staff is working overtime. It shows appreciation from someone they don't know.
The donation of clothes, shoes and other items is always a great feeling. We never know, but someone will be very excited about the things we may no longer want or even think about. I can remember going to donate clothes to the Goodwill in San Francisco prior to my relocation. Before I could enter the store a very nice young man stopped me and asked if I had anything for him. He only spoke Spanish and it took me a moment to understand when he kept smiling and asking the question, "For me?" I finally understood. We were about the same size and I showed him what I had and he started to cry. I gave him several pair of shoes, pants, lots of shirts and jackets. He even gave me a hug. The amazing part was this man was not homeless, just dealing with a lot. While driving home I kept thinking that I was going to throw those things in the garbage because I didn't think anyone would want them. He changed my mind and my day.
Whenever I see someone in a wheelchair or using a walker, regardless of their age, I pay very close attention to them from a distance. It's amazing how many people, especially in the grocery store, can be quite rude to them. While seeing my hand therapist this week, an elderly man was in a wheelchair. His wife had a hard time getting him into an elevator because those inside of the elevator refused to hold the door for them.They were obviously very busy people. So I made a point of getting an elevator for them and holding the door and helping them out to the street once we reached the ground floor. They looked surprised and then very happy as I strolled off to meet my partner who was patiently waiting on me up the street.
One of my favourite acts is surprising a friend by writing and sending a nice letter or postcard to them just to say hello and that I am thinking about them. The excitement when the letter arrives always makes me them laugh as they email immediately. The thought of making someone happy brings pure joy. Even writing a note to a neighbour and slipping into their mail box telling them how wonderful they are or how beautiful their garden looks without signing the note with your name is a great act of thoughtfulness.
Many people in the community have large lemon trees. Many of the people will pick the lemons and place them in baskets with a sign that says, please take some lemons home. Now that makes me smile a lot as I think about all the things I can make with lemons, as well as share with others. Also, there are other neighbours that allow their lemons to rot on the tree and fall to the ground as opposed to sharing them with others.
Often when traveling around, we all see tourist visiting our cities. It's always a nice gesture to offer to take a picture of all of them together. Living with a photographer, I often volunteer his services. The faces on the tourists is always unforgettable.
When stopping for coffee in one of my favourite shops called, Crowded House, depending on interactions, I will often tell the cashier to charge me for the coffee of the person standing behind me in line without revealing who paid for it. I love the look of confusion on their faces followed by a big smile. I know they will be kind to the next person they meet.
Providing a warm welcome to our delivery people is the norm in our house. We even ask if they are thirsty and send them away with a cool bottle of water. It makes a world of difference on how we treat each other.
I have noticed that many people have created little mini libraries that contain great novels, all for free. It's also a way to take your books and place them in the little boxes so that other can enjoy some of your favourite stories too. I love that idea so much and it always makes me smile when I see a book that I have been wanting to read for a long time. It's also a great way to share great books with others.
And finally, kindness for me is wearing my mask during the tough times of COVID. None of us love wearing a mask, but it has become a part of our daily lives if we are out and about. For me, it's an act of kindness that not only protects me, but also protects others, especially older people or those with more fragile health. I will often comment on the creativity of the masks being worn by others. I can't see their smile, but I see the twinkle of delight in their eyes as they always say thank you.
Always remember, the world is full of kind people. If you can't find one, be one. What was your last act of kindness where you expected nothing in return?
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