Photo by Jon Rendell Photography
As a child, my mother taught my siblings and me to be aware of life changes. Of course, we had no idea what she was talking about or what we were supposed to do to control the changes that life throws your way. One of my early life wishes was to be older, taller, and stronger than my big brother so I could give him a good punch. Life seemed to move too slowly for my friends and me. We wanted to be teenagers, then adults. I kept asking my parents the same question every week, "Why does life move so slowly? I am ready to be a man, although I was only 7. When I close my eyes, I can still see and hear my mother laughing. Little did I know how fast life could change?
Being young, I looked forward to changes I thought I wanted to see. Thinking back on those times I realise I had no idea of what a life change could be. At that time my life changes were things that I wanted, like getting a bicycle, going to a baseball game, or being able to eat an ice cream cone every day. That was life-changing for me. Do you remember your first change in life?
Rudolf Steiner, the early twentieth-century philosopher, and mystic conceived of a theory of human development based upon seven-year cycles of change, each offering its challenges and rewards. He believed If we confront these lessons with courage, honesty, and sincerity, the lessons will be mastered, and our psychological and spiritual development will bring forth great rewards. In my opinion, easy to say, but not so easy to do.
My entire adult life has taught me many lessons with lots of twists and turns along the way. Often, life has taken something or someone away from me that I loved. After many hours, days, weeks, or months life steps back in to throw another curve that always makes me understand why it was a good change in my life. Initially, when you are in a dark space it's difficult to see light at the end of the tunnel.
Life also has a sense of humour. It will often surprise you with a lesson you learned before to see how well you received the message. A major lesson for me was to recognise the warning signs of fake people pretending to be a friend. I have always felt very proud of how easily I could detect a backstabber among my friends. Several years ago, life gave me a pop quiz and I allowed a co-worker that appeared needy and friendly to enter my space. I have always been happy to help others in the workforce. As the lesson in life moved forward, memories returned, but I refused to follow my intuition or my gut feelings about this person. I started to listen to their lies and watched the movement of their eyes, the inability to look at me when they were lying about simple things, and then all the lessons returned, and I knew what needed to be done. I stepped back and observed the situation as my fake friend became more vicious and couldn't stop lying and making up stories to get what they wanted from others. I went to my boss at the time to share my concerns and she looked at me with a smiling face and simply said, "Yes I know him well." Within a short period of time, the faker when to meet with our boss to make up vicious stories about me not doing my job well and that I was using alcohol and drugs at work. The faker's buttons were pushed when several managers gathered in the room to ask why they smelled alcohol and cannabis on him. The faker lost their temper and used a few derogatory terms and stumbled out of the office screaming obscenities. Termination was almost immediate. It's a lesson that I will never forget.
Many lessons from life are difficult to understand when you are in the moment. All year I planned a trip to Paris to visit some true friends I met when I lived there for several years. Every day the thought of getting off the plane at Charles de Gaulle Airport made me smile. I couldn't stop dreaming about it and scheduled my trip for the end of May 2023. Once again, life came with a surprise that broke my heart. The flight and hotel accommodations for 8 days were about $7,000. The cost left me in shock and it was a difficult decision to cancel the trip, but I couldn't justify spending that amount of money for such a short stay. If I could have gotten away with behaving like a 3-year-old having a screaming and kicking tantrum, I would have, but instead, I just pouted for several weeks. Then suddenly life started to tease me again with an opportunity to become a homeowner. After laughing at the thought of such a preposterous idea, I thought, let's teach life a lesson. Lovely places kept presenting themselves and finally, I made a deal with life that I would look at available housing so I could be on my own. Fat chance of that happening or so I thought. My partner and I found a place, made a bid, and won. I was literally unable to move from my state of mental shock. Almost immediately the voice of Life said, "Are you glad you saved the $7,000 you were going to spend to visit Paris?" Overall, it was a great decision. Another unique lesson of life.
Recently life threw me a curve of suggesting that I should get checked for prostate cancer all in the middle of trying to buy a new place to live that life suggested. Most people would start to worry but instead, I moved forward with finding a new home to enjoy each day as if it was my last day. Life has taught me that we can only control the way we respond to situations and not to circumstances.
The lessons of life never stop happening. They seem to occur to keep us on our toes 24 hours per day. Some things that seem bad turn out to be great once you take a step back and ascertain the situation. I have learned that every day is a new lesson or life experience to enjoy to the fullest and learn all the lessons. My most important lesson is the importance of true and loyal friends. It's amazing to create a circle of true friends that would travel across the globe to be with you. It's rare and so appreciated. No one should live life without learning something about this life. What you learn and experience can often determine your success or failure in life.
What life changes have you experienced this year that made you stop and think?
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