Every day when I open my eyes and take a closer look at myself in the mirror the same voice in my head asks, "Who are you today?" The greatest part about the Stay in Place order is that it provides the space for me to reintroduce myself to me. At first, I didn't know who me was and getting the two to become friends took a bit of effort. I just kept moving about as always, jumping out of bed, rushing to the shower, throwing on clothes and preparing for my work day. Me kept dragging behind like they were on vacation, wanting to meditate, do breathing exercises and write in a journal. As I was on the verge of killing them both, it all started to come together. They were indeed related, well, actually the same person that had lost themselves in the world of push and pull. One minute we are pushed at work to complete assignments, give presentations, work with clients and strive to be successful. The next moment we are thrown on a vacation in some beautiful place and told to relax, stop being so uptight, chill out, stop worrying about the cost, enjoy life for 2 weeks. Whew! I am so happy that I and Me are now merging into one.
The chart above shows the various levels that many of us are going through during these unusual times. The first stage is the Fear Zone. Probably because of my many levels of exposure through the many professions and jobs I have held, I felt no fear when I first learned about COVID-19. One could say that I am living in the outer limits of my mind or the many years of learning the skills of critical thinking. My experience in Disaster and Disease Preparedness taught me to ask a lot of questions to try to be as prepared as possible for any disaster. Working in marketing and public relations teaches similar lessons about developing contingency plans with a road map. Early on I was always taught that it's not if a disaster will happen in one's lifetime but when. After living in San Francisco for over 30 years, each major earthquake felt like it could have been the one.
The Learning Zone is the next level on the chart and one of my favourite sections. Each day I went through most of the steps in this stage. In order to calm myself, I quickly returned to many of my old habits such as meditating and implementing my breathing activities. It was a reminder to let go of things that I have no control over. Letting go of those things went far beyond COVID-19. Each day I reduced my intake of the negative and fake news that I was consumed to the point that I had to turn off certain feeds that were popping in on my phone every other minute. Through my emotional intelligence training in the past, I became more aware of my own emotions as well as the emotions of others, be they negative or positive. In the past I would share all information received because I was too emotional to see clearly what was true or false. Now I think very carefully before posting or analyse other sources to discover if it's a hoax. Being an old broadcast media person, it all came back to me how our jobs were to push stories to get higher ratings and a reaction.
If there is anything to thank COVID-19 for it's the lessons that I have experienced during the Growth Zone. My hope is that everyone will be able to reach the positive aspects of this zone, but many will not. I have learned that everything that we do or think is a choice. We can develop good habits or bad habits but it takes time and a lot of work. During this zone I have become more grateful for everything that I have today. The present is the most important part of my life. I no longer worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Today, I am always happy to help others if they need or want help.
The reason I started writing Lessons in Life was because of my observation of everything around me, as well as, being able to listen actively and hear what is being said around me or to me. Kindness to others and myself has always been one of my ingredients to being happy. It's hard to know what someone else is or have been going through. Sometimes it's difficult not to judge someone who is being rude or nasty to you for no apparent reason. Remember, very often it may have nothing to do with you at all. Years ago I worked with Hospital CEOs to try to create a solution to why staff were in a bad mood and why patients coming in for treatment were in negatives moods too. For several months, my team and I conducted surveys to find out why this was happening. The results changed my life forever.
All surveys were conducted in person, one-on-one with each frontline staff and with patients. We discovered that many of the patients coming in to see a doctor struggled to get to the appointment on time, had trouble with their children misbehaving at school, had no transportation and was dependent on the bus that may or not arrive on time, they took a day off of work for the appointment, was short on money, had no food, and often was in an abusive relationship. Often if they were 5 or 10 minutes late they would be yelled at by the staff or their appointment had been canceled. When I spent time with frontline staff, they were going through many of the same issues. Some included working with lazy co-workers who were on their mobile devices all day, working double shifts due to lack of staff, having a supervisor with no management skills that showed preferences to some of the staff, they also struggled to get to work on time and often were paid less than other hospital staff. I discovered that that some doctors would look down on nurses who would look down on other nurses that graduated from a less known school, and everyone looked down on the Nurses' Aides and cleaning people for various reasons. Staff also felt that patients coming in had bad attitudes. Or if one patient yelled at a staff member the next patient, even if they were nice would be yelled at, mistreated or ignored. In the maternity ward, when women would deliver their child they would be given their baby to breast feed unless they were a woman of color. It was assumed that women of color were unemployed or on welfare and unable to breast feed so those children were immediately given a bottle with formula milk before the mother was given the child. As a result, the child didn't want to be breast fed. Happy to say that everything was worked out after many, many conversations. Listening to the concerns of everyone was key. My team and I were told how special both sides felt because no one had ever asked them how they felt, or how they were treated or what could be done to improve things. I was very proud of the task force and the Hospital CEOs that made it all happen. They seriously wanted to make a positive change.
The Action Zone is exactly where I am today and each day brings more growth and positivity. With all of my friends and colleagues I push the message to relax the body and mind through stretching, breathing, meditating, listening to great music and dancing, even if it's by yourself. I even try singing and I couldn't sing a note if my life depended on it. Even walking or sitting in the sunshine can improve your mood more than you may realise. Sharing my Lessons in Life is part of my effort to reach out and connect to others that may be experiencing many of the same things. I probably work harder now than ever before to educate others and speak opening about inequities in every part of life. I share with others the importance of using critical thinking before making decisions. Critical thinking is the ability to think clearly and rationally, understanding the logical connection between ideas. Sometimes it can be difficult to recognise fake news when it's written like the truth.
The Action Zone has led me to be an active learner. I have learned more about myself, about love, friendship, history, communications, government, politics, religion, and the importance of family. I have also observed very carefully how all of these things can be used to manipulate masses of people. The most important lesson I have learned from COVID-19 is to reunite with true friends, and people that mean the world to me. It's a time to support each other. The most significant message is to make staying in place meaningful, fun, and an opportunity to be creative. In my family network, we are reading more books, sharing stories, watching great movies we never had time to watch before, exchanging recipes, laughing a lot, cooking and eating together.
My message today is wishing you the best life each and every day.
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