Right and wrong is determined by what each of us just happens to think or feel is right or wrong. Over the years, Lessons in Life have taught me to question what's right and what's wrong when I observe what's happening in the world today. One of my signature strategies is to observe and pay very close attention to what people are doing and what they are saying and how situations can be transformed from right to wrong, depending on the person with the most power or the most money. I was always taught that right and wrong were as clear as black and white, but I have learned there are many shades of grey. Ethical relativism is the concept that holds that morality is relative to the norms of one's culture. Whether an action is right or wrong simply depends on the moral norms of the society in which it is practiced. One action could be morally wrong in one culture and morally right in another culture.
When I was a primary school teacher I would watch the young children, ages 4 to 11 years of age playing at recess and having fun. I can still remember the children thoroughly understood the difference between right and wrong in the way they treated each other or shared many of the toys or balls for playing. Several of them made very concise decisions to choose to behave in what they knew was the wrong choice by not being willing to share a toy, or a ball or to work together to create a beautiful sand sculpture if they couldn't make all the decisions. I would usually interfere to lecture the student about right and wrong and ask them what would have been the right thing to do. They always knew what was right and sometimes would return and play with the others. A few times, although the student was able to have a conversation with me, they still refused to do the right thing and would prefer to sulk and sit on the bench for the rest of the playtime. Many of them were baby bullies and would prefer to destroy the sand castle instead of joining in on the fun. I always prepared myself and the Principal that the parent would probably be coming in to complain about my not allowing their child to do what he wanted to do.
Life has taught me that right and wrong depends on who is making the decision to do something. Growing up, I can remember how police officers would give all citizens a ticket for parking on a fire hydrant or double parking and blocking a lane of traffic. I loved watching how several police cars would block the streets or park on fire hydrants so they could go in to grab a free coffee or sit for a while on their work breaks. If you dared to question it or give them a funny look, one would find themselves in trouble. Making a U-turn usually comes with a fine unless you are the type of person that the police can turn a blind eye to during their shift. My biggest reality was becoming aware of the number of people that have been serving very long sentences in prison for crimes that were never committed. Or the number of cases where drugs had been placed inside of cars of black and brown people. The knowledge made me investigate further for more information. I started researching the number of people behind bars for cannabis or marijuana in the United States. The numbers were startling. To my surprise, a lot of the information was sketchy, data not thoroughly collected or the latest information was not available.
As an adult the right or wrong theory became even more confusing to me. For example, when applying for a job that you could do with your eyes closed but you may not even get an interview. If you got an interview, you were usually disqualified or eliminated from the process. I have always been very inquisitive like a two-year old and rather clever in obtaining information about situations. Nine out of 10 times I discovered that people in key positions made decisions that suited them but not decisions that were right or wrong. Often decisions had been made long before the job description had been written for a position. Promotions on jobs were usually given the same way, but we grow up believing that hard work will guarantee each of us with a great job or a better position. Today, I wouldn't hold my breath for most people to make a right or wrong decision, it depends what's in it for them.
The same right and wrong process goes on in the housing or the rental market. I learned that it's all subjective in who is selected to purchase a house or to rent a space. Rentals have always been difficult. By simply showing up and being Black, Latino or Asian/Pacific Islander can eliminate you from even being considered before you open your mouth to speak or if your application showed an ethnic surname. Would you consider that right or wrong? I use to giggle when I would hear young white people with no job or just getting a job be selected for an expensive rental in the building where I use to live in San Francisco. They would be be screaming to each other how excited they were to find this place before anyone else. The truth, usually 10 to 12 people considered undesirable by the rental management company would eliminate those applicants. When I was younger I worked for an agency that sent me out with other people, always with a White man, an Asian/Pacific Islander man and a Latino man, sometimes they would throw a woman in the mix too. They always made our qualifications higher than our White friend. In 10 out of 10 cases our white friend got the apartment even though he was less qualified on every level in terms of income, bills, credit, job, etc. Afterwards we always went out for drinks to talk about how we could tell when the management staff started to tell lies by their body language.
Today, Lessons in Life have taught me to watch, listen and to learn. All the information that we need is right in front of us and has been a part of history long before I was born and will continue when I am no longer around. I follow stories about catholic priests that have been molesting young boys and girls for many years confess their sins, ask for forgiveness, but continue to remain in good standing or be transferred to different locations to molest more children. I look at the president of the United States and the long list of things that have been committed that he considers right, not wrong, and a team of people following those orders to get what they need, be it money, control or perceived power. Or many of the corporate leaders that make pacts that often come back to blow up in their faces. Attorneys that stand up and lie with their right hand on the bible taking an oath of honesty. It's a joke to even swear on the bible at all. Each day I watch various pastors of churches that teach hate and convince their parishioners to hate someone of a different faith or if they have a different colour skin. Or how pastors stand up and tell bold face lies to their congregation to earn more and more money to do things they consider to be right. Or how people with lots of money can buy prestige and perceived power by having their names put on buildings or companies for their own personal gains. The stories could go on and on forever, but if you take a moment to think, you will be able to instantly develop many stories in a brief period of time. Years ago there was a great show on television called Lie to Me about a deception expert who studied facial expressions to expose the truth behind the lies. Today, it doesn't take a degree to know when leaders of country, a husband, wife, partner or a co-worker is telling a lie boldly to your face.
My greatest lesson in life is knowing that right and wrong is different for every single person and it depends what else is going on at the time. Most people will say, if that's good for me it's the right decision, even if it's bad for someone else. It appears that right and wrong have become extremely liquid qualities which make me believe that everything or most of the things that my parents taught me about what was right or wrong was their opinion that I believed. Sadly enough, those days are over for me, I simply make my own decision about right and wrong and strive to make the right decisions.
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