We all live in a society that makes us want more. Everyday advertising tells us that we need a better house, a new automobile, designer clothes, and the latest athletic designer shoes to impress others. Each season, advertisers tell us what we can or can't wear depending on the newest designer releases. Like sheep, many of us follow and spend money on items that live in our closets with the tags on them until told that they are out of style or that particular colour is passé. Will enough ever be enough?
The world that we live in appears to be built on the theory that more is needed in every sector. When you look around most urban cities, what do you see? I see non-stop construction of new office buildings, new condos, modern apartments, new shopping centers, and a long list of things that communities never requested. No one ever stops to ask your opinion of what is needed in your community because no one wants to know. Year after year, big businesses for profit create, produce, and tell us what we need, whether we like it or not. I have always wondered why there is no overbuilding of schools in low-income areas, housing for the homeless, more community medical clinics, more affordable residential units, grocery stores with fresh vegetables and fruits, and better public transportation.
Every day, I ask myself why politicians elected to serve us only serve themselves and their cronies. Was there ever a time when elected officials cared about the people who helped place them in office? Greed and power seem to be the only priority of many world leaders. To be fair, a few great ones are doing a great job of serving their country. The one that comes to mind is Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister of New Zealand. It almost feels weird that she has a heart and truly cares about New Zealanders. To be fair, they are not alone. The same greed and lying exist with many of our corporate and community leaders too. Enough never seems to be enough.
Many years ago, I felt the same way. I was always in a state of obtaining more. It didn't matter whether I needed it or just wanted it. It just felt right to possess whatever it was and show it off to prove that I was doing better than my neighbour. The brainwashing of advertising kept telling me that to be unique and to achieve greatness, you must possess as much as you can in the world. Before my mother died in 2001, she had a long but specific conversation with me about life. She was an amusing woman. I can remember she pulled me close to her and said, "I have an essential question to ask you, so please be honest." I thought, for the love of crack, now what. But I said, yes, mama. She smiled and said, " I can't seem to remember, are you married to a woman with children, or are you, my gay son." She observed me as my eyes started to blink a lot, and my brain was racing to figure out do I tell the truth, or do I lie since she is dying. I decided to tell her the truth, and she looked at me and said, "Baby, I just wanted to see you squirm and wanted to see if you were still an honest man." Together, we laughed until we both may have wet our pants. She also spoke to me about the importance of loving myself and my real friends. She told me to stop buying so much materialistic junk to show off to others. From that moment on, I stopped caring about all the advertising telling me that I needed special face creams to get rid of my wrinkles or hair tonic to grow hair on my bald spot, or expensive shoes so that I could cross my leg in management meetings to see their envy, or showing off the latest Louis Vuitton wallet. I learned to change my focus on life.
The things that we were taught and believed would make us a happy individual was a lie. Buying a better house or getting a bigger apartment makes us happy for about a month if you are lucky. In a short period, problems may occur with the heating system with the house, or you see a better home or neighbourhood and the focus turns to want something new. It works the same way with a new dream car. You love it until they start advertising that a newer and better model will be out soon. The worse feeling, or so we believe, is when a neighbour or a colleague purchases the latest model, and you can't afford it. Never stops any of us; we always find a way to go into debt to get a newer version of everything because enough will never be enough. For many people, it can feel like an illness called, I must have it by any means necessary.
Before giving up everything and moving to a new country, I repeated many life lessons that helped make me a stronger person. During a challenging time, the kindness of loyal friends and even new acquaintances forced me to take a closer look at the person I had become. A woman gave me a safe and comfortable place to live when I had nowhere else to go. She is someone that I am forever grateful for her love and kindness towards me. Special thanks to Aurora for being one of my protectors. The experience reminded me of the significance of living a simple life and showing compassion to myself and others.
Through the mindful meditation practice, exercise, and learning to breathe kept me grounded. It allowed me to focus on myself and spend time with my loving friends that supported me through a very rough period in my life. I acknowledge at least 3 to 5 things that I am grateful for each day. They can be small or large things. Often, we take the small things for granted. I don't anymore. The smallest things mean the most to me. You may laugh, but I give thanks for being able to have coffee so that I can have a nice cup in the mornings. Having food to eat, not caviar, but nutritious food in the refrigerator or on the shelves. I even give thanks for clothes to wear and shoes for my feet. Have you ever thought twice but having a hot shower when you wake up? I do now, every day. Even being in a country where I can walk around the neighbourhood without the fear of being murdered by police or racist people is something to be grateful for when coming from a nation of hatred. Living in a family with unconditional love is the best feeling in the world. Non-stop teasing, and laughter also makes it complete. I couldn't survive without them.
Do you have enough to be truly happy with your life?
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