My Story of Survival and Strength
In May 2023, I heard three words that changed my life forever: "You have Prostate Cancer." Time stopped. My mind raced. I couldn't stop thinking that this was the end of my life and that I would never be the same again. As I sat there staring at my oncologist my life flashed before me. I got to see all my friends and others who had died throughout my life. I could hear my mother whispering in my ear to not be afraid but to accept death and continue enjoying life to the fullest. For me, it was a time to reach out to my true friends and share how much I loved them and to start doing all the things I ever wanted to do to be happy. I struggled to find the strength to be strong enough to fight for my life. But today, I am here to tell you that I made it through the toughest of times, and so can you. If you are in the beginning or middle of this battle, I want you to know that there is hope. There is life beyond cancer, and you are not alone.
My biggest fear was that I would not be able to say goodbye to those that I cared about. Always focusing on solutions, I took a closer look and my life and decided to review my overall purpose in life. It helped me to stop feeling like giving up on life and to move forward with all the things that were essential for my survival, and it worked. We all have positive and negative voices in our heads. The key is to be able to identify the negative ones and evict them from your mindset. Fear can prevent you from accomplishing your goals or exploring life.
I have known many people diagnosed with cancer but never thought it would be me. In late 2022 and early 2023, I started having problems with my stomach. There was some pain and lots of bloating, but my physician assumed that it was just a virus or a bug. I was prescribed antibiotics over a six to eight-week period and my health improved. I was thrilled. After several weeks, the symptoms returned. My doctor checked my PSA levels that was high, but it was also assumed that the antibiotics may be causing it. He didn't waste any time and recommended that I have a biopsy done to be sure. The biopsy was uncomfortable, but the doctors were very caring and used humour to get me to relax. Without them, I would not have survived the biopsy. My partner who has gone through throat cancer many years ago was by my side, supporting me every step of the way. My oncologist was honest, knowledgeable, and straightforward with a great sense of humour to keep me smiling and in a positive mood.
With his genuine care and guidance, he reviewed the pros and cons of various treatments with me. Treatments available for prostate cancer include chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery. Together, we all agreed to go with radiation treatments. He also suggested injecting female hormones into my stomach once per month. The injections were painful but fast-acting to kill the cancer. Radiation was an easy experience for me, I would usually fall asleep while receiving the treatment. I am one of those odd people who can sleep for 8 to 9 hours on an airplane before it leaves the runway. The hardest part of treatment was dealing with the side effects of the injections. My doctor said that I may exhibit the characteristics of a female -- and become very emotional. The most difficult part of the injections was that they pushed me into menopause. Although I was warned, I still didn't believe it until it started happening. I went from always being cold to perspiring 24 hours a day and being unable to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours each night over 3 or 4 months. Now I understand what most women go through when they enter menopause.
During my darkest days, women were my saviours and best support. Women that I didn't know would talk to me and explain to me what my body was going through, and what to expect. They provided ideas on ways that I could tolerate it and sleep more hours each night. I often asked women why men don't know anything about menopause, and they would all hug me and laugh. Their answer was simple, they all said, "Men don't want to know anything about menopause so why waste our breath trying to explain it to them." In all honesty, women saved my life and gave me a reason to live and to laugh about the tricks that life plays on us. They inspired me to keep fighting, but only if I wanted to do so.
Everyone will experience difficult parts of dealing with cancer. The hardest part for me was physically. Each day I would look in the mirror and I wanted to scream at the person I saw looking back at me. My doctor warned me that I would go through a variety of changes. My body muscles disappeared and the bloating from the injections made me look eight months pregnant. Mentally, I felt unfit to make sound decisions, so I pulled back from my consulting work to rest and recover from the experience. Staying hopeful was crucial to my well-being so each day I would meditate at least twice per day. Women shared their secrets with me on how to be more comfortable which I shared with my oncologist. After he conducted more research, he suggested giving me a medical prescription for small amounts of cannabis to help me sleep. To my surprise, it worked when placed in various foods and cookies. Small bites made a major difference, and I started sleeping 7 or 8 hours per night. I also started an exercise routine of walking every day and lifting weights to try to regain my muscles. It has been a very slow process, but it's slowly working. At least today I can fit into my pants and most of my shirts that didn't fit for at least a year. Some days, the fatigue felt unbearable. The waiting and the uncertainty weighed heavily on me. My doctor kept me feeling positive. I learned a powerful lesson; you don't have to be strong all the time. It's okay to feel scared, but don't ever give up or stop fighting. Just trust and believe that you will find strength in unexpected places. Remember, you have the power to persevere.
Many of my friends and colleagues are battling cancer today. Although it may be hard to believe, life after cancer is possible and fulfilling. My goal in life is to help others and give back to those struggling in my community to survive. Once I felt strong enough, I started to seek support and advocate for myself. It's important to cherish every one of life's moments. It's a great time to tell those who are in your circle of friends how much you care about them. It's also a good time to remove negative people from your life.
Surviving prostate cancer has been the fight of my life, but it has also been a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and love. Through the darkest moments, I found light in the people who supported me—especially my life partner and the women who stood by my side. I learned to embrace vulnerability, to lean on others when I needed strength, and to never take a single day for granted. If you're reading this and facing your battle with cancer, know this: You are not alone. No matter how overwhelming it feels, there is hope beyond fear. There is life beyond the diagnosis. You have more strength inside you than you realise, and every day you keep fighting is a victory. My message to you is to:
Advocate for your health. Whether it’s regular check-ups, second opinions, or lifestyle changes, be proactive about your well-being.
Surround yourself with support. You don’t have to fight alone—lean on friends, family, doctors, and support groups.
Share your story. Your experience could be the encouragement someone else desperately needs.
Live fully and without fear. Cancer may have tested you, but it doesn’t define you. You are more than your diagnosis—you are a survivor.
To all the champs and warriors still in the fight, I stand with you. Life after cancer is possible, and it can be beautiful.
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