Every day I ask myself, where did the time go? Almost 12 months ago, I relocated to an unknown land called Australia or, as they say, Straya. I took a trip to Australia many years ago, where I visited Sydney, Brisbane, Newcastle, Toowoomba, Alice Springs, Bundaberg, Uluru, Airlie Beach, Cairns, Darwin, and a few places in between that I don't remember. To be honest, I think that I was asleep most of the trip and desperately wanted to return home to San Francisco. The places that are still fresh in my mind today are Cairns, Uluru, and Darwin. I have a vivid memory of Alice Springs because I never want to see it again. Most Australians laugh at me when I say that Darwin was my most favourite place in Australia. I found it beautiful, with great beaches, a beautiful museum, and friendly people. I wanted to stay there. While there, I went to a movie screening, and Russell Crowe was there to talk about his role in the film. I remember being very excited, although I had no idea who he was or what he was saying. In the bars, I could never order a beer correctly so I had to make friends very quickly so they could order for me.
Soon after visiting Australia, I moved to Paris to live. Again, once there, I questioned whether or not I had gone completely insane. I loved Paris with all my heart, and although it was a challenging adjustment, I managed to fit in as I struggled to learn the language by attending Alliance Française every day. Classes were challenging, but I loved the experience. Believe it or not, Paris' learning curve was less than the one I am hanging onto in Australia. I am blaming everything on being older while trying to start fresh on a new adventure.
Thirty years later, I find myself living in Australia. If anyone had told me that I would be living in Australia at that time, I probably would have driven over them with my car. Isn't life interesting how it comes prepared with all sorts of jokes, twists, and turns? So here I am, living in Melbourne and learning to adjust to many changes for an American.
Living in Melbourne has forced me to let go of stressors that were hijacking my happiness in America. With the recent horror stories of America over the past four years, everyone is aware of the risks associated with breathing while Black in America. Growing up there, you develop a thick skin that prepares you for the racism and hatred that you face every day of your life. Just going to buy a loaf of bread or pick up a prescription at the local pharmacy could always be your final day of existence. Black people in America are assumed to be murderers, rapists, thieves, drug dealers, and drug addicts. The fact is that every racial group have members that fit into these categories. As a black man, I have learned to focus on reclaiming my humanity, joy and wellbeing. Jenée Johnson, founder of The Right Within Experience, has taught me about the importance of self love. So what's different in Melbourne?
It took me six months to realise and accept that things were different here. Finally, I can openly talk about the pros of living in my new home country. It's the first time in my life that I feel safe and secure. One of the things I have grown to love is taking a walk around town and feeling safe and secure. Even in San Francisco, walking anywhere came with a high risk that police would stop you to check your identification. In Melbourne, everyone is friendly, helpful, and ready to chat with you. Now I walk up to Newport Park most days to get my exercise in and sit and meditate. It's a great start to my day. Shopping around town is also the best. No one follows me around with walkie talkies to make sure I won't steal anything. The staff greets you, makes you feel welcome, and invites you to browse as long as you need to do so. In one of my favourite shops in Williamstown called, Back to Basics, my eyes popped out of my face looking at all the beautiful items. As I started to pick up lots of stuff such as candles, incense, books, bracelets, etc., a staff person walked towards me, and without thinking, I said, "I promise I am not going to steal anything." She looked at me somewhat confused and said, "Hey, I just want to give you a shopping basket so that you can buy more stuff." Then we both laughed, and that was the moment I knew that I was no longer living in the fear that I had grown accustomed to in America.
One of the challenges for me is understanding what some people are saying to me. Everyone speaks English, but with an accent, and many of the words make no sense to me, as sometimes I make no sense to them when speaking American English. So, to help myself, I put a list of words and phrases together to understand conversations. If you are coming for a visit, you may want to study this list very carefully. Now, it makes me laugh a lot. Ready? Here goes:
America Australia
Hello G'day
Trunk Boot
Friend Mate
Take Out Take Away
Been Helped Looked After
Cilantro Coriander
Swim Suit Togs
Breakfast Brekkie
Full Chock-a-Block
Toilet Dunny
Go Away Rack Off
Inquisitive Person Sticky Beak
Gasoline Petrol
Green Onions Spring Onions
Pregnant Up the Duff
Suspicious Suss
Tired Knackered
Dude Bloke
Garbage Can Rubbish Bin
Gross Grotty
Dinner Tea
Sausages Snags
Cookies Biscuits
Candy Lolly
Sandwich Sanger
Assess the situation Suss it out
Tank Top Singlet
Latté No Foam Flat White
Black Coffee Short Black
Barbecue Barbie
Liquor Store Bottle Shop
Uncool Person Dag
Small Bottle of Beer Stubby
Sunglasses Sunnies
Thirsty Dry as a Dead Dingo's Donger
Angry/Crazy Mad as a cut snake
Crowded As full as a seaside bog on a bank holiday
Easy Task Piece of Piss
A lie Pig's Arse
Working Hard or Fast Flat out like a lizard drinking
Small Child Ankle Biter
Thanks/Goodbye Cheers
How are you 'Ow ya goin'
McDonald's Maccas
Red Haired Person Bluey
Sneakers Trainers
Flip Flops Thongs
Bullshit Bollocks
And I am still learning all the different sayings, meanings, and how to say them correctly with my American accent. As we are now moving into summer, the flies annoy me, continually waving them away with my hand. I am told that the wave is the Aussie salute.
Shopping for food is also taking me some time to learn my way around. Every time I go into Coles Market, I want to rearrange everything so that I can find things with more ease. Same experience with the pharmacies, but I am getting better at it. It does help to make friends as soon as possible with staff that guides you through everything.
I love public transportation in Melbourne. I am always excited whenever we take the train to downtown Melbourne and then jump on a free tram for everyone. To make it even better, the wi-fi is free downtown too. It's so nice not to see people jumping over or crawling under turnstiles to sneak into a tram, like in many major American cities. Initially, I was frightened that I would receive a ticket for riding without paying a fare. Whew! A big shock I received was that staff in restaurants, shopping malls, department stores, and all shops were genuinely kind to the patrons. At first, I was a bit suspicious. You don't leave a tip in a restaurant because everything is included. You may leave a tip as a part of saying thank you for great service. How civilised is that for the workers?
What's also great about being in Melbourne is the incredible food found everywhere. It seems to be known for its scenic rooftop bars with great views. Even the regular bars are fantastic too. The best part is strolling along the laneways and viewing vibrant street art everywhere. Speaking of art, I started to experience great museums in Melbourne. Before COVID-19, I was fortunate to enjoy the work of two significant and influential artists of the late twentieth century in Keith Haring and Jean-Michel Basquiat: Crossing Lines. It felt like I was in a trance and will never forget the wonderful experience.
In other words, I am happy to be in Melbourne, learning to enjoy my new lifestyle. The well-known quote by Gertrude Stein has influenced me to believe, America is my country and P̶a̶r̶i̶s̶ Melbourne is my hometown. Let me know when you will be planning your next vacation to Australia. Cheers! (Photo by Jon Rendell)
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