How long does it take the average mind and body to adapt to major life changes? For the past 18 months, this has been a question that floated in and out of my mind without a sound solution being provided. Many of us have been through and survived many changes that had huge affects on us and our families over the years. For some reason changes of today seem slightly different to me. One of the excuses that I provide for myself is that during the 80s when the AIDS epidemic decimated communities all over the world, I was still young, strong and naive enough to not understand the seriousness of such a disease. I survived, but most of my friends were not able to hold on. Forty years later I am dealing with something more frightening or just as frightening to many others, and it's called COVID.
Like many, I thought that COVID would be similar to having a bad flu, something that would go away after a week. The more information and research I reviewed, the more concerned I became at the seriousness of the data and the lack of concern by millions of people that continued to believe in conspiracy theories and fake news, although people of all ages were literally dying. The year 2020 feels as if I stumbled into the Catskill Mountain, had a bit of fun drinking lots of booze and fell asleep for a year, waking up equally confused next to Rip Van Winkle. Where did the time go?
Moving at the speed of light, or so it felt like it, 2020 taught me a lot about adjusting and adapting a new outlook on life. It was very clear that nothing would ever be the same again. The initial shock left me numb and feeling rather confused if the information was true or annoyed that more fake news still had to be deciphered from an administration of the worse president in history. As I started to hear about and see people scrambling all over the world, following the rules for survival of myself and my family, friends and neighbours became a priority. It took a bit of time, but soon I became adjusted to wearing a mask whenever I wanted to leave the house to go for a walk, shop for food, pick up prescriptions or riding public transportation. My top priority was not just protecting myself, but everyone that I would come in contact with too.
Halfway through the year, my mind started to adapt to the required changes. I have always loved beautiful clothes so I became obsessed with adding new accessories to my wardrobe, colourful and well designed masks for every occasion. Interesting how such small things can incite you to vary your views. Once people knew I loved wearing masks, I started receiving many in the mail from friends and colleagues busy creating unique masks that would magnify the personality of almost any well dressed person. I was thrilled. Then everything stopped and the lockdown was lifted, as well as the mandatory wearing of masks. Although there was hesitancy, I was excited to see the reopening of many of my favourite shops and businesses, allowing many people to return to their jobs and make money to survive. With great caution, I eased very slowly back into what many have labeled as returning to normal again. However, I am still not convinced that the old normal was so great. After many efforts and attempts, it was delightful to return to fine dining and having cocktails in lovely bars. I felt rejuvenated being able to communicate and chat with friends, neighbours and friendly strangers in the shops. Everyday I woke up smiling, believing that the worse was over and that we were free once again. With excitement I enrolled in several classes, three were in person and one online. Anyone who knows me can confirm my need for interactive conversations and socialising.
Then, just like lightning in the sky before an unpredictable storm, the number of infections started to rise. I am fortunate that the Victorian government in Australia moved quickly to control and manage new infections. At the blink of an eye I found myself, like everyone else, in lockdown once again with mandatory restrictions designed to keep everyone safe. After previous experience the year before, I kept thinking how easy it would be to return to our new status quo of being confined. It was not easy, at least not for me. When I chat with those possessing introverted personalities, they are excited to be left alone to do their work. It's a different story when talking with my extroverted friends who are crawling the walls and craving a conversation with another live being. If the wind blows the leaf of a plant in my backyard, I immediately rush over to engage in a conversation and a cup of tea with Mr. and Mrs. Plant to inquire about their new seedlings. Insanity at its finest.
This time around feels personal to me. More like a shutdown than a lockdown, or perhaps a combination of the two. Like many of my friends and colleagues, we merged into a surprisingly state of melancholy and mild depression. During the first lockdown games were created where I moved from one room to another, giving each room the name of a lovely place I wanted to visit. When heading to the kitchen for something to eat I would simply say, je voudrais deux croissants, sil'vous plait. Or when going to take a shower, I would pretend that I was riding in a lovely gondola in Venice. The fun mental travels continued until lockdown ended. This time around it didn't work so well. I headed down to our library to read or as I use to call it - going to the Louvre, but my mind refused to play with me.
After several weeks of struggling to drag myself up from the dark hole I had fallen into, a ray of sunshine caught my attention and lifted me up. Sometimes what appears to be the simplest task can have the most meaning on our lives. A simple stroll to pick up a pair of glasses with a new prescription had a surprised impact on my life. It always makes me lean my head to one side, like Pepé the black crow when someone who is not a part of your life is able to see something in you and share kindness. Surprisingly, I wasn't in a social mood, but the shop owner kept me engaged, talking, trying on eyeglass frames, and laughing for over an hour while showing me photos of his family, beautiful places to visit and lovely vineyard to explore after lockdown. It was if the good witch from the Wizard of Oz waved her magic wand to tell me that the power to return to myself again was always at my fingertips. We all possess that power, but only when we are ready to take it and use it.
Upon returning home, I found an email from a true friend living in the San Francisco Bay Area. All I could do was smile at what she wrote to me. She simply stated, "Bring the party to wherever you roam." Her compassionate words reminded me of my true spirit of survival, joy, happiness, and wellbeing. See also sent me this beautiful quote by Pema Chödrön.
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