How many times throughout our lives have we been told that we must make a choice, whether it's the wrong choice or the right one, it's better than sitting and doing nothing. Often I hear conversations that were happening around me when I was a little boy playing with my model cars. Even today, I can't stop smiling thinking about my little Ford Mustang cars in different colors. I think about the love of my older brother who showed me how to put the models together and quite meticulously paint each one with a different design. I can still hear the old folks in their 30s and 40s discussing serious matters about nuclear war, disasters and how to plan ahead without fear or losing one's mind. At the time none of it made sense to me but as I recall those memories, I am reminded of the great lessons that were taught to me, even though I am just now able to understand them.
When news hit the streets about the coronavirus or COVID-19, I watched tons of people across the world freak out at the loss of control. For some reason I become extremely calm and centered, focusing on what was important. Newscasts showed people everywhere fighting over toilet paper which made no sense to me. Toilet tissue from Costco would last for a year or more in my household yet people were fighting to purchase all that was available. Instead of joining in the game of grab and run, I desperately tried to understand what could possibly trigger such insane responses and who started the outrageous rumour that we would all be out of toilet tissue. I watched the way behaviours and attitudes against our neighbours changed. My biggest disappointment came from those that were elected to lead our countries and how their lack of intelligence encouraged the increase of hatred and racism against a race of people that were no different from them. I can understand when someone makes a mistake because they are unaware, but to stand up in in front of a nation and announce that the Chinese virus, not the Coronavirus is killing people and they are at fault is criminal and an open invitation to misbehave and attack people. In fact this is what's happening in almost every country today. It makes me wonder how the act of human kindness and common sense seem to have escaped the mind, body and soul of millions of individuals that once may have been considered sane.
My sadness during this time is the number of people and families that may be out of work and living pay check to pay check, like many of us have always done. When businesses are shut down how will people pay their rent, buy enough food, take care of their children or pay for their healthcare if they never had coverage from their jobs. I appreciate all the hard work being done by those in the medical field to not give up and who report to work everyday, often doing double shifts to make sure that we are all well. And let's not forgot the many immigrants responsible for working in the fields to provide all of us with fresh vegetables and fruits or the farmers never giving up in their fight to feed so many.
Today I watched an amazing Ted Talk from April 3, 2015, presented by Bill Gates, entitled, The Next Outbreak — We are Not Ready. Until now, I had never seen this powerful presentation. Almost 5 years ago Gates stood up and announced that we didn't have a system in place to deal with a highly infectious virus although tons of funding was going into nuclear deterrents every year, but very little invested in a system to stop an epidemic. He talked about the Ebola infection and how no system or preparedness plan was ever in place. We were lucky with Ebola because it wasn't spread thru the air and didn't travel as widely as the coronavirus. My old days of working in infectious disease and disaster planning sent piercing alerts to my brain telling me to prepare and asking myself questions of why most countries were not prepared. Working in San Francisco, I was always ready for the next major earthquake. Long time residents always knew that it was never a matter of if there would be a big earthquake but simply when it would occur and what we would do to survive.
From my perspective I give thanks to COVID-19 for helping me to re-evaluate my life. It has given me an opportunity to become more aware of my existence and everything that exist around me. It truly is all about reimagining life as I desire it to be. Mandatory shut downs have allowed me to review and reset my personal priorities on how I want to proceed with my life, regardless how annoying it can be. Death has never been one of my fears because it was always taught to me as a child that it was a meaningful part of life or the next chapter. It's more important for me today to look at what I want to do today and what changes are needed to initiate gratitude.
There are many upsides to social distancing that I am learning to create. The most important lesson for me was disconnecting from my mobile devices, social media and the news media so many hours per day so that I could actually experience life instead of walking around with my head buried in my tiny little screen on my iPhone. It has made a huge difference in my attitude. I have also reduced the amount of news that I am reading, listening to or watching each day. As an old media practitioner, I know from experience that it's just the same story recreated over and over again to get a response or a reaction and to increase the station's ratings. It's an old game that I am no longer interested in or available to play.
Today, I now have more time to observe my environment and my surroundings. With the shutdown of factories during this time, the air smells cleaner and amazing. Even the waters look cleaner to me and I spend time walking and observing the wildlife like swans and birds almost having parties together in the lovely sunshine. People in general who notice the changes seem to be more caring. To my surprise, I visited a pastry shop and the clerk asked, how are you? I simply said okay and tried to place my order. He cut me off and asked again how was I doing and coping, and how was my family. I was stunned because during normal times, we ask each other how are you and pray that they don't answer the question truthfully. Each day I am learning from others how to be more sensitive and caring to everyone. My neighbours are even friendlier and willing to chat, showing that they actually care about each other. My brain feels like a video camera recording everything. Everyone seems to get excited when you smile at them and say hello. I can see and feel the difference.
Each and everyday starts and ends with my practice of gratitude. Before bed each night, I write in my journal all the things that I am grateful for then go into a 5 or 10 minute grateful meditation. Each morning starts with breathing exercises in which I inhale the best and exhale the rest. I then move into 5 to 15 minutes of meditation in which I create a sacred space for the day. My goal has been to become closer to those that mean the most to me. With great thought, I prepared a list of people that mean the world to me that include true friends and family members that I love. I am reaching out to each and everyone of them to tell them how much I love them and care about them. So often we forget to share our feelings with others. Just last week I kicked off a happy hour session with friends all through Zoom so that we could see each other. Initially, it felt like a work video call but after 5 to 10 minutes we were all laughing, sharing stories, talking about family, sharing recipes and lifting our glasses to toast each other. Frankly, I didn't know that it could be so much fun and I am looking forward to planning more happy hour good times with friends. One thing I did add to my list is to stop wasting time with negative people. And to use this time to press the delete button as this is not a time for any fake people or bullshit. That I am very clear about.
So many of the things that are significant now because of social distancing and COVID-19 are the same things that have always been important but often get pushed to the bottom of the list because we are too busy dealing with work, being in traffic, working with clients, dealing with relationship issues, fighting with toxic co-workers, or just burying our faces in our cell phones at the risk of bumping into people or running into cars when our phones are more important then looking to see if the light is green for walking in the crosswalk.
I am very grateful to share my life with my partner who is an incredible photographer that sees beauty all around. He took the picture that I am sharing in this post and the moment I saw it, my life changed. I stare at the photograph everyday and I can feel peace all around me. It gives me hope. The beauty of the photo led me to being grateful for so many things that have been pushed aside for things that I thought were more important. This has been a wake up call for me to start enjoying my life today and being grateful for the present, not tomorrow and not yesterday, but today. The time for change is now. Are you ready to change your life? What things are you grateful for today?
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