Have you ever met someone and instantly knew that you were meant to connect? Sounds a bit odd when you say it out loud, but it's something that I truly believe. So many teachings over the years from my mother and her siblings taught me that people come into your life for a minute, a reason, a season, or a lifetime to provide you with valuable lessons. When I was younger, I would become attached to a wonderful person that entered my life and disappeared very quietly leaving lots of gems of wisdom behind. At that stage in my life I would become sad because I knew that I would miss them a lot.
Daily, I cross paths with those wonderful individuals that enter my life for a minute or a very short period of time. They almost innocently provide me with the strength, guidance or that push that I just happen to need at that time. I would often ask myself how did they know what to say to me, but now I just savour the moment and accept the lessons of love that they share with me. It happens when I am shopping for food, I often connect to other customers or workers. A great example is when I went to pick up a pair of glasses. I was feeling rather sad after being in lockdown for several weeks. As I tried to escape the shop, it was as though the owner and staff knew that I needed a boost and appeared to be doing a tag team act of keeping me talking and amused. After one hour of laughing, learning more about their lives and families, and eating homemade brownies, I left the shop with a big smile on my face, saying hello to every person as I walked home. Just the way they entered my world for a minute, I could see that my happiness and chatting with strangers along the way also gave them that minute of what they needed, someone to be kind and genuine. That old saying really is true, what goes around comes around.
As I have matured with age, I now understand that people come into our lives to fulfil a need, teach a lesson or help us to apply those lessons in our lives. Many of them move out of our lives once the task has completed. I have been in situations where I trusted someone very much that I allowed to enter my life and attempt to cause harm. Quickly, during that time the blindfold was removed and I escorted my so-called friend towards the exit sign of my life, allowing time for me to repair the damages caused. Today, I realise that my job was to accept the lessons and to be grateful for the learning that I received. The experience taught me to be more aware of my surroundings and to always follow my intuition or gut feelings around negative people. So overall, it was a valuable lesson that prepared me for my next journey in life.
When someone comes into your life for a Reason, it's often to meet a need that you may have expressed internally or externally. People during this time often will appear to assist you through a challenging time, to provide you with support that may aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. Those amazing people always appear for the reason you need them to be. Then like a magic act, poof, they seem to disappear without any disagreement. Sometimes they walk away, relocate to another city, act up or out, and force you to make a decision about your next steps. The important lesson that we must come to terms with is that a need was met or a lesson learned, although sometimes we may not realise it at the time.
The people that I often think about and miss the most are those that entered my life for a Season. Those are the people that enter our lives because it's our turn to share, grow, or learn. You always know when you meet those people because of the magnetic attraction of fun. In one of my favourite songs called Somewhere by Efua, she sings, "They are just around the corner, but if you break into a run every time you get to a corner, you won't find them because they aren't there yet, they're somewhere." Trust me, they will find you. They are always tons of fun carrying the energy to make you laugh so much that tears will run down your pants. They always seem to share an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, enjoy it, and cherish the memories when the season ends. But remember, it's only for a season.
And then there are those that are connected to us for a Lifetime. Those are the true friends that you love and they love you no matter what's happening. I totally understand when someone says they will step in front of a speeding car to protect your life or take a bullet for you. Those are truly lifetime individuals, and we are connected to each other. It makes me smile a lot when I think of so many of my true friends that I am committed to and have known and loved for 10, 15, 20 or 30+ years of my life. I hope that everyone will have the experience of those lifetime friends that I recognise as my family. So often those selected to be a part of one's family is a stronger unit than blood family members. Just for clarity, sometimes family members purpose is more for a reason than it is for a lifetime. With every relationship I have been involved in, honesty was always essential. It was always shared that the most important thing in my life is my love, commitment and devotion to my true friends that have always been there during the worse of times and the best of times making me laugh or sitting and crying with me.
An ex-partner may also be a Lifetime connection. Just because a romantic relationship didn't work out at the time for whatever reason, it doesn't mean that a true lifetime connection was not created. Often I have found that ex-partners have become my best friends, almost like a sister or brother, and the love between us is genuine. It doesn't matter if they are halfway around the world or just down the street, the connection will always be there.
And finally, this person could be a long term partner that shares and teaches us how to accept ourselves and to love who we are. We also provide the same to them. It's a relationship where you allow each other to grow, continuing to support each other along the path. If you meet a partner who is a Lifetime, prepare yourself to experience life changing event with them, such as moving in together, getting married, having children or moving to another country where you have never lived before –– because you trust them completely. These are people that we usually see as the love of our lives, regardless how you may disagree on topics or have different opinions about issues, you always come back together because of the love. And if we are fortunate, who knows, we will grow old gracefully with our lifetime partner.
Learn to enjoy crossing paths!
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