When I was a very young man, early in my career of Elementary Education in the San Francisco Bay Area, I was selected to teach 5-year old children about an important topic during the summer. I was very excited to have been selected and looked forward to starting. On my first day of class, my co-teacher and I looked at each other in utter horror. We were selected as Art teachers for the entire school. Between the two of us, drawing a stick figure would be a major challenge. After a quick one-on-one discussion, we decided that we would both resign after one week because apparently a mistake had been made or we were on a secret episode of Candid Camera. In case you may be to young to have known the show, the premise was to place people in situation and watch them make complete fools of themselves.
Prior to the new students arriving for class, we stormed into the Principal's office for clarification to obtain some sense of reasoning why we were hired or tricked into taking the position of Art Teachers. I think about it now and still get chills.
In an effort to try and calm us, both 23-year old professionals, the principal only made it worse. He explained that the job would be like eating a piece of divine cake with a scoop of ice-cream. We became even more nervous. He shared our curriculum for the next 3 months. With a big smile, he listed the items that we would cover each day. The items included:
Roll Call and Welcome
A Morning Song - The People on the Bus Go Up & Down...Ugh
Water Colouring
Unlearning Racism
Drawing
Finger Painting
Lunch Break
Recess to play games of baseball, jump rope, dodge ball, hide n' seek, playing on the swing sets, Simon says, and other games children would like to play
Cooking & Baking
Nap Time (Was always my favourite time)
Story Time
Sharing Good Times
End of Day
Then, the principal threw us out of his office before we could resign because he had other meetings to attend. Honestly, the list makes me weak in the knees today. Although we feared teaching art, what terrified us was teaching racism to very young children. Together, we studied most of the night to understand how to teach such a complicated subject. The rest of the night was trying to find easy ways to draw a house, a dog, a cat, a bear or a stick figure. We really sucked at all of it.
After working with very young children and explaining that lime ice-cream was the same colour as green peas, spinach or broccoli, so we shouldn't like one more than the other because they are both green. Well, you can imagine how well that went for me. After using many various examples of foods and lollipops, and white vs. dark chocolate we decided to stop confusing the little ones. When asked if there were any questions, all the hands went up and they said, "Can we please go out to play now with each other?" I simply smiled and said, yes. For the next few months I watched them very carefully and what I noticed was that the children were not interested in what another child looked like at all, but just wanted to play, hold hands and hug each other. They would cry when they had to leave their friends every day after school. Our classroom of students, like the entire school, was a racially mixed atmosphere of Black, Latino, Asian-Pacific Islander, Tongan, African, Indigenous or Native American, White, Samoan, and everything in between. So I became very interested in how loving children could become cruel to each other and full of so much hatred by their teen-age years.
I love observing people and listening to what is being said, as well as, hearing what is not said. Children learn at an early age from watching their parents, siblings, family members, other adults, and television, even if it's a cartoon. Even today, I am still learning while struggling not to be appalled by what I see and hear. So often we think that young children don't hear, understand or remember what is being talked about in front of them. Over time I have seen parents make fun of other races while talking to friends with their child mimicking them. When the adults laugh, children make a mental note that it must be something great and it should be remembered. Case in point, while taking public transportation to work one morning, I observed two women making fun of an Asian woman by pulling their eyes so that they would look slanted and then they burst into laughter when the young child imitated them. The little boy received a piece of candy from his mother as a reward. The adults continued to make more fun by pretending to speak Chinese by using racial terms, such as, ching-chang-chong. I watched as the child tried to repeat it and he laughed too. One of the woman caught a glimpse of my facial expression and immediately said to me, "We were just teasing, we are not racist". What lesson would that young white boy remember his entire life from this experience? These type of incidents happen more than you may think.
For a moment, the incident reminded me of my freshman year at a Catholic college in Texas. There were 3,000 white students and 12 black students. Five of those black students were freshman students. Without giving it a second thought we were immediately attached to one another. No one was rude to us, but they were very curious. Daily, I would wait until the dormitory was empty before going to take a shower and prepare for class. One day I came out of the shower to be surprised by 30 white students in my dormitory that wanted to see a naked black man. As you can imagine, I was horrified. After yelling at them and losing it, I asked why they wanted to take pictures of me and look at me without any clothes on. Their response shocked me. They simply wanted to know if the colour of my skin washed off and if I was white underneath my clothes. One boy told me that his mother told him that the black servants in their home were not allowed to use the toilet in the house because their skin colour would leak on the toilet seats or sink if they washed their hands. So anyone of colour working for a white family, with or without lots of money, had to use the bathroom in the garage in order to keep the colours from spreading to them. I asked them if it was okay if the "Coloured," as they called them, could prepare their food, do their laundry, make their beds, prepare their baths and often took care of the children without fear of the colour of their skin contaminating them? They looked at me confused and said they didn't know the answer.
Today, conflicts around race and prejudices appear to be the norm in many parts of the world. I once believed that we are all naturally inclined to like those that are like us and dislike or fear those who are different. Is it something that we learn as children when we are not allowed to play with other children because their skin, hair or language is different?
Growing up taught me the biases that existed every time I entered a room to be interviewed for a job. The hardest part was convincing them that I was a nice person, qualified, not too aggressive, and wasn't out to murder them, although several times I did visualise myself slicing their throats and smiled. That smile always surprised me by the way they loved it. Initially, I was surprised how interviewers felt comfortable enough to turn their nose up because I grew up poor and hadn't attended Harvard, Yale or Stanford, but managed to be intelligent and able to speak English well, for a black man. I still laugh today at their arrogance that leaned on the fence of ignorance. Discrimination went beyond the colour of one's skin, but looked at neighbourhoods, colleges attended and even the type of car that you drove. You see, all of these things must be important to getting a job that you may be overqualified to do.
I also stopped believing that people who looked like me would be my saviour. A valuable lesson for me was to witness on numerous occasions the harsh treatment I received from Blacks or African Americans on interview panels. Many of them would do anything to convince their white counterparts not to hire another black person. Truly, one was enough. Many of you may believe that I am making this up. To be honest, I wish I was making it up. There is something called internalised racism. After taking an 11-week course with Dr. Joy DeGruy called Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, my anger disappeared because I learned valuable lessons that have made me stronger. My lesson in life is to control and make positive changes for myself and to stop having expectations of others, or hope in them changing. As an old friend told me, I don't have a rooster in that cock fight.
Overall, babies are very happy most of the time, unless they are wet, hungry or teething. Two of the three I am starting to understand. With young babies, they adapt to their parents. If both parents are white, the child adapts and may cry when they see a person of colour. The same thing happens if both parents are Black or Asian/Pacific Islander. They simply become familiar with the person taking care of them. Once they get use to someone who looks different from their parents, they will slowly warm up to them. My partner always jokes that babies and children warm up to me very quickly, whether I want them to or not. He says the reason they do is because I am the size of their favorite stuffed animal or doll. I am still not sure if that is a complement or fun being made of me. I have always believed that it would be great if children are allowed to interact with all types of people.
When teaching the art class, I grew to enjoy the tedious topics that had been bestowed upon me and my co-teacher. Together we did learn to draw a cat, a house with a chimney, a funny looking dog and Santa Claus. I even learned to bake cookies. I grew to love talking about race with the class. For example, when reading stories I would ask the students if that was a little boy or girl and they would laugh. If there was a character in the story that was of a different skin tone or spoke a different language, we would also talk about that too. During art, I would have the students draw a picture of themselves and their family. Then I would ask them to draw each other. The level of concentration always made me want to walk over to check if they were still breathing. I was fortunate to be at a school that allowed me to explore and introduce a variety of cultural activities into the classroom. I was able to introduce many heritage month experiences so that my students could embrace many cultures at a young age. My teaching experience taught me that children are not inclined to be racist.
Children also learn from their teachers. It's hard to believe that not all teachers are great teachers. It's the same in every professional field. Great teachers are alert and aware of everything going on around them, especially in their classroom. Bad teachers often leave lasting impressions on young students. Children are able to pick things up very fast. If a teacher focus on a particular student or groups of students and they all happen to be of the same colour or gender, a strong negative message is transferred to the children. They are observing and making decisions about who gets ahead and who are the bad students. In other words, if a group of students are always in trouble or being sent to the principal's office, chances are, the other students will distance themselves from "those" students.
Everyone is being impacted this year by COVID-19 and levels of stress are running high. Many of us have dealt with worse experiences long before the recent virus of 2020. When we look at every country, racism and hatred has increased and many people have lost their lives. Now is the time to talk to our children and to each other about what is happening today. As parents, grandparents, teachers, family members or friends, can we help children to talk openly and deal with racial bias? I believe that we can, but not many of us feel there is a need to do so. There are a couple of things that we can try to do to help children to better understand what's happening in the world around us. Here are a few examples:
Talk to our children and acknowledge differences and biases in society.
Encourage and model kindness to all people, regardless of the colour of their skin, age, gender, economic status or religion.
Teach our children how to handle or challenge racial stereotypes and biases when possible.
Talk to our children and identify differences and biases that exist. It's a great opportunity to pause a movie, a series or the news to allow children to ask questions or to explain to them what is happening and why.
It helps to be a role model for children. Many children imitate their parents, teachers, family members or friends. Whether it's good or bad, the behaviour becomes a part them.
Always allow children to ask questions during discussions.
As a teacher, I would say to my students, "Isn't it wonderful that we are all so different and yet, so much alike".
Becoming committed to teaching for equity and justice for our children.
When I watch everything that is happening in the news today, I have lots of why questions. If I was a child, watching television and hearing everything, I would be totally confused about what's right and wrong. In my Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome class, I learned that white children, whether rich or poor, are taught to believe that no one is better than a white person. Many are taught that everything was created for them and that people of colour or underneath them and should be treated without care or respect. What we are seeing today are groups of uneducated, ignorant, poor white people taught to hate anyone of colour because they have taken jobs from them. The fairy tale keeps being told over and over again, generation after generation, and it's believed. The superior attitude of white is right, often leaves white children confused about their identity because they are taught that everything belongs to them. White privilege, or white skin privilege, is the societal privilege that benefits white people over non-white people in most societies, particularly if they are otherwise under the same social, political, or economic circumstances. Have you ever experienced the rewards of white skin privilege? It's something that I will never have the opportunity to experience while living in my skin.
In her seminal research and writing on this topic, Beverly Daniel Tatum, a former psychology professor and president of Spelman College, has written extensively about the ways in which the unjust structure of racial hierarchy in American society is normalised and transmitted to children from birth (Tatum 2003). In discussing how messages about race-based privilege and oppression are internalized, Tatum provides a powerful metaphor. She explains that in the same way residents who live in highly polluted areas cannot avoid becoming “smog breathers,” Americans who are immersed in the structures and practices of white supremacy unwittingly become “racism breathers”. Tatum adds, "Many of us may not realise the degree to which these toxic beliefs shape our perceptions and experiences of the world. Unless we have opportunities to unlearn racism, these messages become absorbed and have consequences."
So, can children grow up to be non-racist? Yes they can when they live in a non-racist household and society. Until that day, we must all work together, if we want a better society, to guide children's anti-racist development. It must include the education and pride about one's cultural identity. Helping children to appreciate cultural differences is a key component. We all, regardless of age, need to understand the role that racism plays and how to fight it. Frankly, I don't see this happening in my life time. But I am hoping that things get better than they are in 2020. In many countries that were once respected, racism and hatred is being encouraged. Racist are coming out and announcing their views. This makes me happy because once out of the racist closet, you can never hide in it again. The secret is out of the bag. That's a good thing.
I want to take a moment to acknowledge many of my friends who are now parents. They make me proud when I hear of the efforts they are making in the area of creating non-racist children. If you have children or work with children, please share with me how you handle these issues with your children? Children are so wonderful with large hearts. I would love to see a society of people who love and support each other, instead of hating and judging each other. Is there a chance?
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