Simply Enough

Photo by Jon Rendell, Photographer

There comes a point in life when accumulation stops feeling like achievement. I used to measure success in milestones. I would work diligently on achieving great job titles, search for the best clients, cities to live in, obtain constant applause, and survival. Now I measure it all very differently. Now I ask myself, what is simply enough? Not what impresses. Not what proves. Not what performs. Just enough. There is a difference between what we want and what we actually need to live a meaningful life. That difference grows clearer after you have survived something, such as an illness, a betrayal, major loss, reinvention, or watching systems collapse in real time. When you have lived long enough, you begin to notice something uncomfortable, most of what we chase or believe that we can't live without.

We all live in a society that makes us want more. Everyday advertising tells us that we need a better house, a new automobile, the latest designer clothes, and the latest athletic designer shoes to impress others. Each season, advertisers tell us what we can or can't wear depending on the newest designer releases. Like sheep, many of us follow and spend money on items that live in our closets with the tags on them until told that they are out of style or that particular colour is passé. Will enough ever be enough?

The world that we live in appears to be built on the theory that more is needed in every sector. When you look around most urban cities, what do you see? I see non-stop construction of new office buildings, new condos, modern apartments, new shopping centres, and a long list of things that communities never requested. No one ever stops to ask your opinion of what is needed in your community because no one wants to know. Year after year, big businesses for profit create, produce, and tell us what we need, whether we like it or not. I have always wondered why there is no overbuilding of schools in low-income areas, housing for the homeless, more community medical clinics, more affordable residential units, grocery stores with fresh vegetables and fruits, and better public transportation. 

When I was a young man struggling to find my way in life all my friends and I wanted to do was to party and have a good time. For many years, the highlight of our lives was to go shopping, spending money we didn't have on new outfits and shoes to impress and stand out in a crowd. We didn't know that no one really noticed us. Once we all went off to college because our parents pushed us to do so, we kept our focus on partying and spending money on designer clothes we thought we needed in life to define us. Many of us ended up with lots of debt trying to pay off student loans and shopping costs. It wasn't until I retired that I realised that less was more. Something changed, I didn't want to buy anything that wasn't a necessity to survive in life. It was like a wiser part of myself slapped me really hard to face reality. My goals in life switched to living a good life that included a great place to live, enjoying good food, traveling to see the world, surrounding myself with genuine friends, listening to good music that inspires me, and continuing to show kindness to others without expecting anything in return.

Every year, we’re told to make lists. Set goals. Make resolutions and life plans. And for most of my life, I did exactly that. I chased achievements, deadlines, expectations, sometimes my own, sometimes those placed on me by others. But somewhere along the way, I realized something important: I wasn’t exhausted from doing too little. I was exhausted from carrying too much. This year, instead of asking myself what I want to accomplish, I asked a different question, "What can I finally let go of?"

Lessons in life have taught me there are so many things I can live without now. Here are a few of those items on my list:

• Constant validation from other people. Why did we ever think that someone's opinion of us was so important in how we developed in life.

• Being right. I remember having many colleagues who would argue about being right, even when they knew they were wrong, but they wouldn't give in. Now, I stay quiet before hitting the delete button.

• Toxic loyalty is an extreme, unwavering commitment to a person, group, or job that persists despite abuse, neglect, or detrimental consequences to oneself. Often, it may involve ignoring personal needs, intuition, and red flags, often driven by fear, guilt, or misplaced duty rather than mutual respect.

• Explaining myself to people committed to misunderstanding me.

• Owning more than I need. There is a time in our lives that we want to own the best of everything to impress our neighbours, colleagues, and others. A good example is always needing the latest automobile, even though it may throw you into debt, or the newest mobile device that I can stare at 24 hours per day.

• Endless fake and negative news cycles designed to distract us from the truth.

• People who drain you of your positive energy.

As I have gotten wiser and older, I often think about all the things that I want to maintain as part of my life. Creating a list will make all the difference in the world and shine a light on things happening in your world. I don't want to live without: true love of my partner and loyal friends, being able to show kindness to others, maintaining my truth and integrity as a person, self-respect, and having the courage to stand up and speak up, especially for those who feel they don't have a voice.

What are some of the things you can live without? We are taught to measure progress by accumulation, more goals, more plans, and more milestones to chase. But what if growth isn't about adding more, but about letting go? Sometimes growth isn’t about becoming more. Sometimes it’s about becoming lighter. We live in a culture that glorifies accumulation, more success, more productivity, and more validation. In my experience, I rarely stopped to ask what all of that is costing me. When you start to review what no longer serves you, something surprising happens. Our minds get quieter, our decisions get clearer, our energy returns, and it's an opportunity to recognise what truly matters. Letting go isn't about quitting, it's choosing yourself.

I love the photo so much because when looking at it, I can feel the peaceful bond and love between the dad and his child. This year, I am not chasing more, I am choosing less. Less noise, less stress, less obligation, less bullshit. And in doing so, I have gained something priceless - It's called peace of mind.