So many lessons over my entire life have taught me the importance of turning off the mind switch and simply attempting to relax. Even with lots of practice, sometimes the brain has a mind of its own and just keeps talking and sharing things that deep down inside I know makes no sense at all. Has this ever happened to you before?
Our brains are known to act up or misbehave during situations that it may describe dangerous situations or reveal false information that it thinks you may want to hear such as, making you feel insecure if attending a lovely party, telling you that you're not good enough to attend the event, or making up stories that no one will like you today because of the colour of your skin. It may even tell you that you should forget about dieting and just be happy eating all the wonderful desserts that make you happy, instead of dreading to climb on a scale after struggling to try and fasten the button to your blouse or pants for the tenth time today. You probably guessed it correctly, it's just a lot of junk that we have created to fuel our mind, and to distract us the work we need to do.
Recognising and identifying the game early makes a big difference in how you move forward. Many people give in to the fake voices in our heads and may decide to eat a carton of ice cream to feel better or sit at home alone feeling just not good enough to be around others. So often it feels real, but it's all fake thoughts that can be eliminated with practice. It's key to detect when these thoughts and voices enter the room of your mindset, seeking a place to spend some time or hang a shingle. Never allow it to remain. As for me, I love giving it a warm welcome, listening to what it has to say, having a good laugh and giving it the boot as I continue on my way to accomplish what I may have been trying to avoid.
I have found that Stillness is my greatest friend. Without fail, it always works for me. Depending on the situation, it will often make others that I encounter more uncomfortable due to the quietness that may appear as distance, sadness or anger, as opposed to knowing that I am simply getting in touch with myself. My partner is the one person who knows it well, as they should after twenty-five years.
I learned about stillness and mindful meditation through an innovative lifestyle project called, The Right Within Experience. For the past two-years, I have been fortunate enough to learn about so many creative techniques I never encountered before. The founder, Jenée Johnson taught me amazing techniques to address the pitfalls of racial trauma with ways to heal, become stronger and gain resilience to work and think smarter. Some evenings, I send hugs and mental thank you notes to my parents, my uncles, aunts and all those involved in fighting so hard during their lives to make me a better person than those causing harm to them. I honour them each and every day for their love and efforts.
During the past two years of COVID, stillness can be a difficult process for our minds.There is always so much going on and so much information flowing in and outside our brains. Sometimes the noise can be very loud. Often when I go to my desk to turn on my computer, I am overwhelmed with the huge amount of emails and items on my to-do list all yelling, do me first. It's essential to remember that discovering stillness is still possible. It's always within our reach when we need it.
Stillness is a calm, quiet, motionless state of mind. When I look out at the bay, lake or ocean, the stillness of the water is an indication that taking a ride in a canoe on a calm day is much better than taking a trip in a sailboat. Actually, my choice would be to sit and watch the calmness of the water as the large tankers cruise by with heavy containers.The peace of true stillness can be found while walking on a busy street when commotion is all around us. Many times I have been sitting in very a busy coffee house enjoying a delicious a café mocha savouring the stillness, although lots of people are running around ordering food, laughing with friends, many teasing me, and the staff always checking on me to make sure I'm happy. Those have been some of the best times when I have been totally at peace and in touch with myself. Just last week I went for a facial in my neighbourhood and my time there was more peaceful than I could have imagined. The practitioners were truly caring and a bit shocked how I could convert to a state of total relaxation in a few seconds. It was an amazing experiences and I felt like I was floating all the way home as I walked in my mental state of stillness and peace.
Initially practicing stillness may seem difficult for many, but give yourself a chance to make it a positive habit. In the beginning, it helps to reduce or eliminate stimuli around you like the television or radio. News reports often put many of us into a negative space, especially as of late. Often lots of the news from allegedly trusted sources may be fake news that sound and appear genuine. Don't be fooled by fake communication being used to hide true facts or information. False information can make me question what is true, even if it means putting their lives at stake. It helps to try closing your eyes and focusing on one thing. In the beginning, I tell friends and colleagues to focus on something wonderful or even a great person they admire for 10 to 20 seconds, simply appreciating the thoughts or memories. Early on I would create and repeat phrases such as, "I am calm and still, or I am in a calm space." Often I would sit and breathe with my eyes close. On the count of one to six, I would take a deep breath, hold it, and breath out once I got to six, then exhale. I would start the process over again. You may be surprised how it calms and relaxes the mind and body.
Some of the benefits to practicing stillness in your life include:
Recognising and identifying the stress in your life
Letting go of things more easily that may create painful situation in your life
Actively listening to what your mind, body and soul are saying to you
Anchors you into the present moment instead of keeping you in the past
Provides more clarity to see things crystal clear
Definitely improves your sleep or the ability to take a power nap when needed
May improve your overall health that may be stress related
Creativity has been known to increase in our work and personal lives
Provides stamina and resilience to handle adversity with well thought out strategies
Increasing our self-awareness and intuition
Connects you to a higher being that is yourself
Helps you to love yourself first so that you can love others
Give stillness a try. Starting anything new is always awkward and appears difficult. Trust me, this one is quite beneficial over the long run. Practice it when you have time, maybe once per week for a short period of time until you feel comfortable with yourself. I love going for walks, even if it's just to mail a letter because it allows me the opportunity to focus on stillness and be aware of my surroundings and all the beauty around me. Often when walking and listening to an audio book, it still allows to listen in a stillness greater than myself filled with great ideas, positive thoughts and innovative goals that help me to grow wiser and kinder each day. I would love to hear your experiences moving forward.
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