How often do you receive a gift of joy? Think very carefully before you rush into answering the question. As a young man I never, ever thought about any gifts of joy or anything that I should be grateful for, but then something changed. Living through and witnessing the loss of so many friends during the AIDS crisis removed the veil that existed over my eyes. Sometimes when I think about all the true friends I loved and who loved me, I become emotional. Many of them I never got a chance to wave goodbye. After over 20 years, I can finally let go of a lot of the pain and sit and savour the great conversations, the teasing, cooking and eating great meals together, dancing and partying until 4 in the morning and falling asleep at whatever home was the closest. Then the laughing would continue until we all fell asleep. Today, when I see something funny in a movie, smell a certain food or if the cork of a champagne bottle blows a certain way, it makes me smile and giggle because I feel like each of them are watching over me and making me laugh. That's one of my gifts of joy.
Everyday when I open my eyes, and just to remind you, I am not a morning person, but I always wake up looking for that wonderful gift of joy that is waiting for me as a great surprise. I have discovered that life has a way of putting gifts right in front of you to see if we are able to notice them. I love watching people and I am always surprised how so many wonderful presents of life are in front of them like a huge boulder in the road, but most people just go around it, ignore it or stumble over it without looking up from their mobile devices. There must be a way to add the gifts of life to the mobile phones that will alert us to look up and live in the moment.
This month I feel more aware of my feelings and emotions. My intuition or gut feelings are operating on high intensity. March is always a time for me to reconnect with myself and explore deep thoughts and conversations with myself. Perhaps it's because March is the month I was born in, yep, a Pisces for sure. This week on my very special day, before opening my eyes, I could smell the beautiful fragrance of something that I was unable to decipher. Instead of rushing to open my eyes, I laid in bed next to it and enjoyed every smell as it entered my nostrils. After 15 minutes, I decided to slowly open my eyes to see the most beautiful flower on the pillow next to me. Without hesitation, a huge smile took control of my face. That smile lasted the entire day. Now when glancing through my memory to relive the moment, the smile returns, regardless of my mood. My partner placed the flower on the pillow facing me. Amazing how simple acts of kindness can make all the difference in the world.
During my week, I normally stroll to my favourite park to conduct my mindful meditations. Over time, people in the neighbourhood have gotten use to the little walker that chats and says hello to everyone on his way to the park. Often, many of them tease me just like many of my friends use to do, and that's another gift of joy for me. I see many introverts along my walk and they have even gotten accustomed to me giving them a big smile and a very happy hello. Now they smile when they see me coming their way, probably because they don't have time to run or cross the street.
Along the way, I think about my mother, always telling me and my siblings, "Now remember to stop and smell the roses on your way." We would simply say, "Yes mama" and laugh because we didn't know what her words meant. But today I know exactly what she meant and I stop whenever I see a beautiful flower, plant, mural, person, dog, cat, or even a beautiful house, and I take in all the beauty that it's giving to me.
Living in a world filled with so much hatred makes me wonder how miserable those people are deep down in their souls. I am pretty certain that all of them would deny being unhappy or traumatised. Through my nourishment of great books, I have learned that the trauma of racism has an impact on everyone, not just people of colour. The racism and hatred continues because of a culture of people who are refusing to identify the true issue because of the fear of the truth Until that fear is addressed, the trauma that is being projected will also continue to be returned to them for generations. How difficult would it be to take a step back and look at the world from a different perspective, if that's even possible for many of them. Yet, another group of people that are missing all the wonderful gifts of joy that are standing directly in front of them, but they are choosing to go around it too. The book I started reading is called, The Sum of Us, by Heather McGhee. It talks about the cost of racism on everyone and how we can prosper together.
The photo that is used with my blog post is real. One day after a quick rain storm, I looked out the window and this was the gift placed in front of me. I was totally speechless and thrilled because I have never seen a rainbow from one end to the other. And I remember seeing two separate rainbows staring back at me, almost smiling. In my mind, it was one more thing to be grateful for because many people may have never seen anything like this before. I certainly had not, but I am so glad that I did get to witness this because within minutes, it had disappeared like it was never there. Sometimes it pays to live with a good photographer, even when your photo is snapped while you are sound asleep, half in and out of the bed. Before I could get my boots on to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the little leprechaun had obviously disappeared with it.
My favourite gift of joy is the kindness that new and old friends have shared with me throughout the challenging times of COVID. I would not call the virus a gift, but it has created something that didn't exist before. One of the things that I have noticed between the year 2020 and today is that most of our views have changed in the way we treat others and expect to be treated. I have experienced so much kindness, love and support from my old friends as we have become professionals at conducting our online cocktail and dinner parties, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, crying together over losses of family members and even laughing together until tears run down our legs. With new friends, I am feeling and seeing the same love and compassion, and I am so grateful for the many gifts of life that I am able to reach out and touch each and every day. Today, I am sending you my gift of joy.
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